So… Making Friends is Hard…

Moving to a new place is really exciting! Starting fresh. New beginnings. New experiences. And zero friends… I didn’t really think that part through when I packed up all of my stuff and headed down to Texas.

I haven’t felt lonely yet since I’ve really only been here for 2 ½ weeks, and one of those was spent in California. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to friends and family on the phone since there is so much exciting stuff to share, and the rest of the time I’ve been really busy trying to get unpacked while I have Netflix on in the background. And then I get distracted by what is on my Netflix and I sit for 45 minutes watching One Tree Hill. It happens.

Thankfully I am a pretty outgoing and friendly person when I need to be. I have absolutely no problem walking up to people I don’t know at work and introducing myself, saying hi to the person sitting next to me on the bus, or commenting on how much I love a dress someone is wearing around my apartment complex. I’m from the Midwest, that’s just how we roll. Not only will we hold the door open for you, but we will say hi and most likely ask how your day is going at the same time.

I have learned that is not quite the case in Dallas.

It’s not that people here are unfriendly, but I feel like I am going to have to put in a lot more effort to get some conversation out of the people around me. Also I am a bit out of practice as I really haven’t had to try to make friends since I was, oh, 18. Most of the people that I hung out with in St. Louis were all people that I met in college, or people that I met through other friends from college. How do you even make a friend as an adult? Why do I feel so awkward trying to do this? Why can’t it be as simple as “hey you like that thing, I like that thing, too. Let’s hang out now!”

But ok. Really. How do you make friends as an adult living in a new city? I have no idea, but here is my game plan so far:

Find a church: I’ll find a church that I like (hopefully pretty soon!) and getting connected and plugged in there will hopefully lead to some great friendships.

Join some groups: Have you ever heard of meetup.com? I used it last year and joined a 20-something crochet club back in St. Louis and it was pretty fun! I’ll have to check and see if there is anything similar here in Dallas, oh and maybe join a book club! So many options!

Keep awkwardly talking to people: Yes, I will still keep doing that. I figure if I’m already seeing these people in person, then I’ll probably keep seeing them, and maybe one of them could become a friend. Except for that girl in the gym last night who basically walked out of the room when I tried talking to her. She does not want to be my friend. Rude.

Use my connections: I have no problem with other people telling me who I should be friends with! A good friend from college knows someone who just moved here also and she thinks we will get along- awesome, get us in touch! That is fine with me! Bring it on!

Any other suggestion on how to make new friends as an adult? I’d love to hear them!

7 thoughts on “So… Making Friends is Hard…

  1. I am having this same trouble only as a teen. I have one good friend, and she lives pretty far away. I am not outgoing, and commenting on someone’s outfit is the only thing I usually do. I am just so awkward around people, it’s terrible! Tell me it gets better in college, cuz being homeschooled ain’t cutting it.

  2. Now is the time to ask all your friends on social media if they know someone – or someone who knows someone – in Dallas. Finding friends was problematic for me whenever we moved, although in our case it helped when we had little Grant and Kelsey and all of their activities!
    In Atlanta, Kelsey joined the group “Georgians for Nebraska” and went to all of their football parties.

  3. I’m with ya! It’s hard to make new friends as an adult. I’ve found that even when you meet people whom you click with they can be flakey when it comes to making plans. I think joining a church would be a great idea, also Meetup is a cool way to find people with common interests. I also recommend volunteering. It’s a great way to help people, feel good about yourself, and meet new people! I think we should start a Meetup for Dallas bloggers 🙂

  4. When I moved to Arizona in 2013 I only had work friends, which wasn’t bad but my social circle was very small. I had also thought about using Meetup but I couldn’t really afford to do anything out there (which is why I am back in Missouri lol). Anyway, you might check places that have a public community board (like the library, coffee shops, the Y, etc.) to see if they advertise any small groups or anything. I agree though, making friends as adults is hard! Good luck in Dallas 🙂

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